Galaxy in a Jar Funding Project (U.S. Patent pending # Q304400115)

Here in my ProjectQ Top Secret Lab I have been feverously working to shrink a nearby galaxy so that it will fit into a an old mayonaise jar that I found near my mailbox last week.

My goal is to be the first on Bonanzle to offer a "Galaxy in a Jar" but I have run into a couple of problems.

The biggest problem is that I'm having trouble with the lid on the mayonaise jar. It will not hold the perfect vacuum required to maintain the galaxy in equilibrium. When the lid leaks it causes the galaxy to fall to the bottom of the jar and bounce around violently.

The other problem is with the glass jar itself. Extreme care has to be used when handling the jar. If the jar is broken the galaxy will expand to it's original size. The galaxy in the jar contains over 100 billion stars and they will almost instantly consume the entire planet earth in an enormous "fireworks display".

With further research and testing I should be able to overcome these two problems.

When perfected the "Galaxy In A Jar" can be used to teach your children the basics of astronomy and physics and if you have a really powerful microscope you could study life on the various planets in the jar. It will also make a great night light.

This project has been approved by Al Gore. He has been gracious enought to certify it as 100% environmentally friendly. It will never burn out and doesn't requires batteries or any other external poluting source of power so it will not cause the global warming fanatics to protest in Washington D.C.

Since the Obama adminstration has turned down my application for a 740 trillion dollar government grant I am hoping that my fellow Bonanzlers will help me perfect this project.

For only $3.00 you can help me get this project to market.

(Since my government grant was denied I am desperate right now. I urgently need to buy a Mason jar at Walmart for $3.00 to prevent a cataclysmic disaster infinitely worse than the five foot of frozen "Global Warming" that has mysterioulsly landed on the eastern seaboard of our country. I have to confess at this point that I, ProjectQ, am totally responsible for this record snowfall. When I received word that my application for a government grant was denied I went into an uncontrollable rage. In my rage I rushed down into my secret underground lab and cranked up my Carbon Offset Generator and directed it's full output toward Washington DC. Fortunately, after only 3 minutes of operation, it blew a fuse. Otherwise I would have let it run for at least 2 hours. This would buried Washington DC under at least 800 feet of snow and ice and would have brought about a total freeze on spending demanded by the Tea Party Folk which has been arrogantly dissed by Congress and the Obama White House. )

As a token of my deep heartfelt appreciation for your help in funding this project I will send you a genuine ProjectQ "mystery item" which you will surely cherish for the rest of your life.

Your friends, neighbors and even your mother-in-law will marvel when they see this mystery item and you can proudly tell them that you "Got it on Bonanzle". By doing this you will promote Bonanzle and you may hasten the final demise of that "other site". However it is questionable whether or not the "other site" needs any real help in their ever continuing free fall into the Bottomlest Pit of long forgotten & failed e-commerce websites. (PBUTM - Praise Be Upon Their Memory)

I promise that the "mystery item" will not cause cancer in laboratory rats.

Where else can you get a deal like this except on Bonanzle?